Emma Bunton is an Angel on this Earth. We do not deserve her. We have never deserved her and we will never deserve her. But nonetheless she’s allowed us to exist at the same time as her and for that, we should all be incredibly grateful.
As we all know, Emma is the perfect pop group member – a voice like honey, stage presence for days, professionalism, adored by the public, and is the glue that holds the other members together, especially in difficult times. But was she as excellent as a solo star?
Short answer: Yes.
Longer answer: Yes. Now sit down while I explain to you just some of the reasons why.
I may one day forgive the UK for voting Brexit but I will NEVER forgive the UK for not making ‘Maybe’ one of the biggest selling songs of all-time.
The vocals, the production, the styling, the video, the performances – iconic one and all. Your fave could never. Unless your fave is Emma Bunton, in which case she can and did.
Emma Bunton invented country pop. And every song that’s ever been played on Radio 2.
‘What Took You So Long’ was her first real solo single and what a single it was. It’s a little bit county. It’s a little bit rock’n’roll.
That it isn’t played on the hour, every hour, on Radio 2, really makes me question what we are paying our licence fees for.
She is the greatest Bond girl we never had. But there is still time.
‘Free Me’ should have been a Bond song. And Emma Bunton should have been a Bond girl. No, scrap that, the Spice Girls haven’t Girl Powered us for more than twenty years for nothing – Emma Bunton should be James Bond. Let’s all head over to change.org to petition the government to make it happen.
Without Emma Bunton, there would have been no Amy Winehouse.
When Emma Bunton came back with her Top 5 smash hit sophomore album, ‘Free Me’, nobody was doing that 60s sound. She releases it and suddenly, Amy Winehouse does it, Duffy does it, basically everybody does it. I’m pretty sure that even the Sugababes did it but I can’t be bothered to google to check – it’s nearly dinner time.
Coincidence? I think not.
She only went and did this.
I will say no more because high art speaks for itself.
The greatest inventor since Edison.
Not content with inventing country pop, the 1960s and Amy Winehouse, Emma Bunton can also claim responsibility for Despicito.
In 2004, Emma Bunton allowed Luis Fonso to duet with her on one of her album tracks, ‘Amazing’. Thirteen years later, he had has one of the biggest songs of all time. That’s the power of an endorsement from Bunton.
She properly loves her Mum
Mums are brilliant. Especially my mum. Hi, Our She! (Jokes – as if she’ll ever read this!).
And you know which other mum is brilliant? Baby’s Mum, Pauline. If you don’t follow her on Twitter, do (@paulinebunton). It’s not hard to see where Emma gets her general loveliness from.
As well as delivering vocals straight from heaven on ‘Mama’, she made sure to shout out her mum again on her first solo album, with the even more gorgey, ‘High on Love’.
Listen to it, and then if you’re lucky enough to still have your mum, call her.
She may be lactose intolerant.
Nice Spice, Emma has a reputation for loving and being loved by everybody. But it turns out that she’s got beef with Kelis. And nobody knows why. Perhaps she just really hates milkshakes?
(Cut to 46 seconds into this video for the tea)